Deep: Shower Thoughts

Reddit’s Shower Thoughts is a crowdsourced collection of miniature epiphanies. A few I found amusing:

Sleeping five minutes in is infinitely more valuable than going to bed five minutes early. u/Nebula-X1

Swans are loud, territorial, violent, aggressive, terrifying, and an emblem of romantic love. u/nothingweird

Word “synonym” doesn’t have a synonym, but antonym of word “antonym” is synonym. u/downpour92

Using solar panels to power an air conditioning unit is like using the sun’s power against itself. u/amagnificentbiscuit

Adulthood is when you stop expecting surprises to be good things. u/GatorMech89

Most orchestras are just 1800’s cover bands. u/basspl

A gold fish’s job is to introduce kids to dying. u/es_price

The tallest person in the world has been everyone’s height once. u/contemplative-lemon

Nobody ever sneezes or coughs in movies unless it contributes to the plot. u/edinhass

A ton of people is literally 12 to 15 people. u/cornfish pie

When you were little knowing how to snap your fingers and whistle seemed like essential skills for adulthood. u/orange_lazarus1

Drinking water while going swimming in the rain on a cruise sheep at sea is the ultimate aquatic experience. u/saylittledomuch

Two all knowing beings could never have a meaningful conversation. u/mrditz

If the human race goes extinct and our cities are buried several feet underground, museums will really fuck with alien archaeologists. u/urban_biologist

When you say nothing at all ‘forward’ or ‘back’, your lips move in those directions. u/manofproto

Eating is inappropriate in both extremely clean and really dirty places. u/counterpro0

Buying a cat to catch mice is basically like hiring an assassin. u/Kamikaze_Rabbit780

Every night, we lose consciousness and quietly and harmlessly go temporarily insane. If we don’t do this, after a few days, we actually do go insane. u/exhihiloadinfinitum

Just like the person you have a crush on doesn’t even know you exist, there’s probably someone with a crush on you that you don’t even know exist. u/smellmyweenie

Your dirty talk voice is just the voice you use when talking to your pets, but in a minor key. u/TheTrashGhost

You’ve probably seen the same pigeon twice. u/upidaboss

When you’re 30 you’ve already spent a month celebrating your birthdays. u/lolexplode

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