[finance] Does it bother you that my two cents are worth more than yours?
[rules] Does the dichotomy of greater-than/less-than govern our interactions?
[cooking] Have you ever used tears to spice up a dish?
[ego] Would you make out with yourself?
[wood] Trees are now houses, houses are now trees, which would you live in?
[gossip] Heath Ledger is still alive. I saw him at Hooters earlier this evening at happy hour. He was downing two buck Buttery Nipples.
[hot] If you were nude, waxed in Crisco and stuck in a cage with Mike Pence, what would be your initial wrestling moves? (editor’s note: standing moonsault and then stink face)
[hair style] Tell me something lamer than scalping a guy with male pattern baldness?
[Helen Keller’s root canal] Would the dentist experience be less painful if you were deaf and blind?
[satiated] Considering Homer Simpson is hung like a horse, what are the genetic odds that Bart is as well?
[automotive] Whatcha gon’ do with all dat junk inside yo trunk?
[mental health] Don’t eat apples. The trees are screaming as you pick their living, exterior placentas and munch on naturally-delicious sweet-tasting veggie abortions.
[the other] Do you spend any time pondering what your parents think about?
[how-to] If you’re curious about changing careers into the cosmetology sector, consider biting the top off a piece of broccoli and rolling the hairy feel of its head in your mouth. This is what it feels like to be a professional hair cutter – constantly covered in hair.
[news flash] Do you think it’s creepy, if you sit across from a bathroom and are thinking really hard about a question to write for a blog, to look off into space in the direction of the bathroom door as people go in and out and see you staring?