Grey is my favorite color of the rainbow.
I like your necklace. I want to sit on it.
Pee. Poop. Blood. Wait, is blood potty talk?
[while taking photos with a cell phone] Say cheese yoga mat.
[holding a cow stufffed animal] Milk is coming out of my cow. But it is yellow milk.
Me: You can’t just leave the table. You need to ask to be excused.
Her: I asked with my body, not my mouth.
Me: It is unsafe to slide down the railing.
Her: Not in my world, dada.
Smell my feet. You know you want to.
Her: Can I have a spoon of honey?
Me: It is late. Tomorrow.
Her. Today is tomorrow, right? Today is tomorrow from yesterday, right?
I like putting my shoe on the wrong foot.
Al is a nice dog. Why does he hurt cows? (I explained he herds, not hurts cows)
I am not someone else. I am really really just me.
Where is my daddy and why are you wearing his shoes?
You can do potty talk in the bathroom, or you can do a butt show. A butt show is when you run around and show everyone your butt.
What’s god, daddy?
[to my grandmother] When are you going to die?
You should probably be outside. But sometimes you aren’t. This visualization takes you into the night, into galaxies and stars and light years. If you have a projector, maybe make it wall or ceiling-sized.
Here’s some events that happened!
Dates All Common Era
306 Diocletian abdicates, Constantine I claims Roman throne.
313 Constantine converts to Christianity (sees cross in sky, says Eusebius).
300s-400s Huns under Attila control Eastern Europe, Goths and Vandals weaken Roman Empire.
323 Constantine moves capital to Byzantium and renamed Constantinople. Division of Empire begins.
325 Nicene Council
334 Constantine makes Christianity state religion.
381 Council of Constantinople elaborates the Nicene Council’s condemning of Apollinarianism.
410 Visigoths sack Rome.
413-426 St. Augustine writes “De Civitate Dei.”
430 (circa) Anglo Saxons begin settling Britain.
451 Rome sacked by Vandal Genserio
476 Romulus Augustulus last Emperor of Roman Empire, gives throne to Odoacer, a Danubian German.
570 Muhammad is Born.
800 Charlemagne crowned Emperor of the West on Christmas Day.
1000 (circa) Leif Erickson’s Vikings reach Vinland.
1054 “The Great Schism” East and West Churches split.
1066 Norman conquest of England, William the Conqueror defeats the English at Hastings.
1096-99 The First Crusade, Jerusalem captured in 1099.
1147 The Second Crusade, Rallied by St. Bernard.
1163 Construction of Notre Dame begun.
1187 Saladin captures Jerusalem, leading to Third Crusade.
1194 Construction of Chartres Cathedral begun.
1202-4 Fourth Crusade
1218-21 Fifth Crusade
1228-9 Sixth Crusade
1248-54 Seventh Crusade
1270 Fifth Crusade
1267-73 Aquinas writes Summa Theologica.
1308-20 Dante’s Divine Comedy.
1337-1453 Hundred Years War between France and England
1347-50 The Bubonic Plague kills millions.
1378-1417 Later Great Schism, Rival popes in Rome and Avignon.
1429 Joan of Arc leads French victory at Orleans, has Charles VII crowned King of France.
1431 Joan of Arc burned for heresy.
1453 Turks sack Constantinople, collapse of Byzantine Empire.
Wow, things have happened!